My Favorite Place to Take My Black Son

One of my favorite places to take Tristan is my alma mater, Butler University. He loves it! It’s such a beautiful campus & he runs around so freely. Yesterday, I intentionally took him there. He was so excited he wouldn’t stand still for a photo. Talk about black boy joy.

Here’s the thing. Butler wasn’t always a place that I felt like I belonged & it wasn’t always a place where black people belonged. In 1927, Butler started racial quotas & only 10 black students were allowed to attend each year. Those brave students attended & the Indiana KKK Grand Dragon lived a block away. Even today, it can look like there’s still a quota. I love my school & I’ve supported it in many ways. However, the history is still there & the reality can’t be ignored either.

Freshman year, one of my suite mates was “unknowingly” racist & thought it was okay to share “jokes” about her grandmother & her southern plantation. She’d ask questions like “why are black people so obnoxiously loud?” or “Why do they have dreadlocks—they’re so nasty?” Freshman year, this was my experience. On top of being completely in color shock with a campus that was over 80% white & only 3.4% black.

So why is this my favorite place that I take my son? I take him because I made it those 4 years & I didn’t “find a place” for myself. I owned the space I earned. It was a privilege to walk on a campus where those brave black students from the earlier years walked.

Ultimately, I also accepted that the campus was a representation of life after graduation—and oh was it. I knew what it felt like to have people question me with “oh you go here?” & I still get asked “oh you went here?” when I visit. Even yesterday, we were the only minorities there & we got many looks of question, even behind smiles. Yet, I still know that I belong. Because I earned it & just because my skin didn’t represent the majority, I shouldn’t be uncomfortable in my skin when around them.

So my favorite place to take my black son is Butler to show him that this too was a part of his mom’s life & these will be realities he’ll have to face. However, he should feel free, be comfortable being himself & never be afraid to own the space he’s earned to be in.